Seasonal JokesRikko walked into a bar (I know I know... again !) to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a white rebbit tap dancing on it.
Rikko was so impressed that he offered to buy the white rabbit from its owner. After some negotiations, they settled on a figure of 150,000 poes for the white rabbit and the pot.
Three days later Rikko runs back to the bar in anger, "Yer rabbit is a rip off! I put him on the pot before a whole flag audience, and he didn't dance a single step!"
"So?" asked the rabbit former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Rikko, slightly drunk, walked into a Inn and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, kissed her pinching her booty. She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologised and explained, "I'm totally sorry Ma'am. I thought you were me Jojos. You look exactly like her. Same hair... same suit !!!"
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
Things that are difficult fer Rikko to say when he is drunk...
a) Scurvy Reef
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon
Things that are VERY difficult to say ...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate
Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say ...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more fine rum for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) Dya know my wife Miss ?
e) Nope thanks but Cursed Islands are not me goblet of rum ?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest lpr? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as Jojos might wait me with her finet cleaver.
A Panda walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a meal. When the meal finally arrives, he eats it quickly, then shoots a drunk, and leaves the bar.
Rikko walks over to the bartender and asks, "What was that all about?"
The bartender replies, "Look up 'panda' in the dictionary, mate."
And so, Rikko retrieves his "french/piratey english Harraps'" from his shwashbuckler's vest pocket and looks up the word 'Panda.'
"What's it say?" asks the bartender.
Rikko replies with a grin, "Eats shoots and leaves."